


work song

by lottielovebuzz



Category: Poldark - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Internal Monologue, Love, Love Confessions, Marriage, Monologue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-13
Updated: 2015-04-13
Packaged: 2018-03-22 17:23:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3737260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lottielovebuzz/pseuds/lottielovebuzz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>written for the prompt “ross’ thoughts before/during the monologue where he tells demelza he loves her” for roeweasley on tumblr</i>
</p><p> </p><p>  <i>Why do you think I married you?</i></p><p> </p><p>It's a simple enough question; he wants to know what Demelza thinks. He wants to know what Demelza thinks about why she wears a band on her finger now - how she came to be Mistress Poldark of Nampara, instead of plain Demelza Carne who's father used to beat her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	work song

**Author's Note:**

> title is for hozier's song which idk, just summed up what i think ross would've felt. haha.
> 
> once again, just a drabble i'm posting here to flesh out the ao3 tag :)

_Why do you think I married you?_

It's a simple enough question; he wants to know what Demelza thinks. He wants to know what Demelza thinks about why she wears a band on her finger now - how she came to be Mistress Poldark of Nampara, instead of plain Demelza Carne who's father used to beat her. 

He wants to know what she thinks. It's simple enough. 

Even if he knows it's not simple enough.

_I don't rightly know._

He grins. Good. She's just as clueless as he is. The truth is he has no idea why he married her either. Well, there's an inkling… something that nags at the back of his mind that seems to shout reasons at him. But they just don't seem right. 

She stares at him. She looks for an answer. 

Ross sighs and turns to her, he knows that he has no way of putting her off. She's like that damn mutt of hers. When she has a scent, she will track it until she finds it, or will tire and exhaust and nearly kill herself trying. 

 _To satisfy an appetite -_ it was true enough. There was a desire in his body that it seemed only she could fill at late. The first time they were together, it was impulse, a stupid decision on both parties. One that then changed both their lives. 

But it was still something that only Demelza herself could fulfil. Even Margaret, a woman paid to please him and knew how to do it, couldn't make him burn the same way Demelza could. 

 _To save myself from being alone_. Elizabeth was married to Francis and he thought he would never stumble upon another opportunity to have a wife. Oh, sure, plenty of women threw themselves at him… Ruth Teague was just one of those few, who thought she would be happy being his wife. 

But he knew she wouldn't and the last thing he needed - wanted - was to be stuck with a woman who resented him for not giving her the life she thought she would receive. 

_Because it was the right thing to do._

And God doesn't that make him seem noble? He had stolen her virtue in a night of stupid - yet pleasurable - desire, and it as only right for him to marry her. It was _the right thing to do_. He wants to scoff at himself. How can he make his own mistake sound like a noble quest? 

He goes about stealing beaten girls from their father's hands, only to rear them from his own pocket, turning them into the brave women they are, before bedding and wedding them. No wonder the county cannot stop talking about them. Him, really. 

He should be strung up. 

 _I had few expectations. At best you would be a distraction; a bandage to ease a wound._ He's hurt her now. He can see it in the way her lips tighten, how her eyes clench as they fight back tears. He reaches out and presses his hand over her own, which are clasped in her lap. 

It was true though - he had no honest belief that their marriage would come of anything. He had no honest belief that it would become what it has become. 

It still shocks him, that warm, tight feeling in his chest that he gets when he wakes up and sees her curled against his side.

 _But I was mistaken. You've redeemed me. I am your humble servant._ Everything shifts in that moment and he can't help himself from the smile that pulls at his lips. Demelza seems to mirror it. 

There's something more he needs to say, however, and can feel it bubbling beneath the surface - can feel it brewing and stirring and burning a hole in his heart. 

He never thought he would speak the words to anyone ever after Elizabeth. He never dreamt. When he pictured himself married, it was out of duty - how his and Demelza's marriage started, he supposes.

But now there's more and he wants to watch the shock and happiness etch its way onto Demelza's face as he announces it. He wants to make her happy and serve her. He did not joke when he said he was her humble servant - she could ask anything of him, and he would give it all, gladly. 

Just to see the smile spread across her face.

_And I love you._

**Author's Note:**

> enjoying this fic?? I'd love you forever if you bought me a coffee!! ko-fi.com/cahwrites
> 
> i’m on [tumblr](http://runningwithshewolves.tumblr.com) and [facebook](https://www.facebook.com/pages/Lottielovebuzzs-Fanfiction/154475354679423)! come and say hi!!


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